Writing Insults (Post Swap with Caetlyn Dawdy)

We have something a little different happening this week… Caetlyn Dawdy and I have decided to do a blog swap! I wrote a post about 18th century fashion over on her blog. Over here, Caetlyn has written a post all about how to write good insults. Onto the insulting!

Caelum sneered, showing her true self at last. “At least it’s three more boys than you could ever pick up. You stand there, trying to play the hero, but how many friends do you have, Willetta?”

Zero. There was a pang in my chest. “About as many as you’d have if you weren’t pretty.”

Doesn’t that hit differently than “buttface”? You can name-call all you want, but most readers aren’t going to react much, and it won’t stick in their heads. There’s nothing particularly surprising or jabbing about a name, no matter how strong of words you use. Name-calling is something kids do, so if you’re writing children, go with that. But when people are older, they want to think of more potent ways to get at people they don’t like.

Whether you’re looking for ways the villain can jab or just want a character who can cut with words, this article’s for you. We’ll look at four steps you can take to make your insults more insulting and stick in your readers’ minds.

1. Use a character’s words against them

The best insults, I think, are the ones that twist the words the one being insulted just spoke. It shifts the power dynamic and can leave the insulted floundering. It’s up to you how your characters react to it—if they brush it off, burst into tears, or somewhere in between—but it will hopefully at least be a good insult. You may have to change the insulted’s words and phrasing to try to find the right sentence to build insults off of, but that’s okay.

In the example from my writing above, Caelum tries to get at Willetta’s lack of friends, but Willetta points out that though she doesn’t have any, Caelum doesn’t have any genuine ones, and that puts her in the same place. It shifts the dynamic of their argument, as suddenly, Willetta holds the power and Caelum must defend herself.

2. Have patience

This might not seem like a step, but it may take a while to come up with a good insult. I stare a while sometimes. But whenever you think of a possibility, even if it would never work, write it down anyway so you can effectively cross it off in your head and move your brainpower onto the next idea. Keep at it, and you will find something.

3. Test your insult with time

You don’t have to be gone super long, but if it’s a good insult, it should still have an impact within you, or at least still sound good, even after you’ve reread your chapter a few times. In my experience, these tend to be insults that when I first come up with them, I have an external reaction, like laughing a little or widening my eyes. You don’t have to have an external reaction when you reread them, though.

In general, these insults will be the powerful ones that don’t require a lot of mental maneuvering to understand why they’re so cutting. They’re obvious.

If your insults don’t hit you when you reread them, then they’re not powerful enough to stand outside your head, and you’ll need to think of another one.

4. Ask for feedback

Once you think you have a good insult, if you want to make sure it’s good, let someone else read it to see what they think, like all writing. You can lump it in with the rest of your beta reading and ask your readers what they think about each insult. Of course, different people have different ideas on what a good insult is, but if the majority who read it say it’s good, you’re likely in the clear.

In conclusion, coming up with more insulting insults is a fairly straightforward process, though it may take a while. I myself have a character in a current project who is good at them, and I have to think for a while before I come up with a satisfactory one sometimes. Just be sure to use your characters’ words against them, and have the patience to think a while if needed. Then make sure it’s good by reading it again yourself later, and asking other people to read through it, too. Once you’ve gone through all these steps and your feedback is positive, you’ll know you’re on the right track.

Caelum stuttered and said, “So what if these people think you’re funny? You get a few seconds where people like you?”

“What, jealous?”

Hello everyone, I’m Caetlyn E. Dawdy, the guest poster of this article! I thank Hannah so much that we were able to do this blog swap, and I hope you’ve enjoyed the article!

In my free time, I mostly enjoy reading and writing fantasy, paranormal, and sci-fi. I’m currently a junior in college, with an English major (creative writing concentrate) and a marketing minor. I’ve been writing pretty consistently since my freshman year of high school, so for about six years.

On my blog (http://caetlynedawdy.com/), I mostly have articles where I ask a certain group of people questions about an experience (say, being 15 years old or being an extrovert) and then post them so you get not simply facts about being that age or that personality type that you can find on many other websites, but actual personal experiences of these people. Hope to see you there!

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Let’s give a huge thanks to Caetlyn for helping us write better insults! She has a ton of super helpful information for writers on her blog– be sure to check it out!

Thanks for reading, have a great rest of your day!

-Hannah